Do the Toxic blues have you down? Is your day filled with tedium, frustration, and decay? Ever got blood on your hands that you just couldn’t wash away? Ever had goo all over you that you just wanted to wish away?

If your answer is “yes,” then this is a product for YOU!

You can spray anything and anywhere you want! With Taint-A-Way, you can spray away your pus, boils, burns, skin rashes, and all the disgusting side effects of Odium!

Taint-A-Way is an amazing scientific compound! The strongest and most effective liniment known for the prevention of infection and the spread of the virus. Rub it on yourself when Odium is high. Relieves instantaneously!

Taint-A-Way is made of pure lemon oil, plus our seven secret ingredients! The ingredients that we use are safe and have almost no side effects. It is completely safe for use on children! Some kids come a-running your way? No problem!

Taint-A-Way is a breakthrough compound, not Orthos mambo-jambo! SCIENCE! The only liniment known to prevent infection and the spread of the Scourge. Taint-A-Way is good for everything a Toxic liniment and cleanser should be!

Our special foaming formula powers through dirt and grime, blood, froth, bullet and stab wounds. You can rub it into the deepest crevices of your Odium-ridden body and get it all out. It can even clean the mold off your walls!

How do you stop the stink? Taint-A-Way! Safe for all your odor zones. You can even spray your privates! It’s so amazing, you will want to bathe in it. This isn’t snake oil! Endorsed by some of the world’s top zombologists. The perfect gift! But wait, there’s more! That’s not just our pledge… it’s our promise!